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sábado, 26 de maio de 2012
Message from Mrs Brenna Gray to you all.
> Today is a really hard day for myself and family and I'm sure for all of you. This day two years ago rings in my mind daily, I remember it like yesterday, it was a Monday,that past Saturday myself, and three family members had a intervention for Paul, he left and said he would be back, he was gonna go write some music. I knew he wasn't coming back. That Sunday I knew in my heart he was gone and a lot of you don't know he had passed away Sunday night(which I found out Monday) I forced sleep after being up all night looking for Paul as well as some family members. I woke up and just knew today is the day I find out my husband is dead. Between my mother and Paul's mom we were frantically figuring out where he was. I told myself brenna just get into the car you know where he was, my mother came and picked me up and we made the 7 mile trip to the hotel he was at. It felt like a 12 hour trip. At the point of arriving it gets a bit blurry but you get the idea no need to go play by play what happened. That very second my whole world collapsed and my life had changed for the worst. The rest is history and that was the worst week of my life. I can't speak for everyone but that day I lost my best friend, my husband and my daughter lost her father. He was sick and besides drugs he had severe heart disease which none of us knew about until the passing weeks. Paul wasn't a bad person, he made bad choices and some people don't understand addiction, and that's ok but please don't preach unless you have been there. Anyone that knew Paul knew he would never intentionally hurt anyone. He was sick and he was powerless and he lost the battle but I will tell you over the years he put up a courageous fight.I want everyone to know how much you all have touched my life in a way I'll never forget. We can turn this into a sullen day but let's turn it around and celebrate the amazing human that graced us with his amazing smile, music and love. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him. He left you all amazing music and he left me an amazing daughter and a lifetime of memories. I see so much of him in our daughter daily and I feel him around daily in her presence. Everyone asks me what would you do different that weekend? I say well nothing, I know in my heart I did Everything I physically could, others chose to ignore it and that's fine but I know I did all that I could. There's a million should of could of would of's BUT there comes a point where you come to terms and peace with things. The best advice I can give to anyone that has been in this situation is don't numb your feelings deal with them, I still go speak to a therapist because some days suck and I don't want to get up but what I have learned is there is life and death, I'm fueled by our daughter and Paul's contagious laughs in my head and a super awesome group of friends and family that are supportive. Paul would not want anyone to stop going on with their lives you just learn to carry him with you in your heart daily. Thank YOU for the never ending support and love and kind words.
-Brenna Gray
Brenna has given me permission to post these 3 pics.
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